For many, writing and reading a eulogy at a funeral is a way of not only paying homage to the life and memory of the deceased, but also as a way to say farewell to a loved one. A moving eulogy allows the audience to become at peace with the memory of the deceased, as it gives ample opportunity to celebrate what made that person so special and unique. A eulogy can be as simple as reciting the person’s favorite poem, or as personal as reading special memories out loud to the audience. Whatever option you choose, if you decide to write a eulogy, you’ll have the opportunity to give a fitting tribute for your loved one, since the eulogy marks the process in which family members and friends can become closer to the deceased while letting go at the same time.
However, many people find writing and giving a eulogy to be a burdensome task, especially if they’re dealing with their own grief. In this respect, a moving and heartfelt eulogy can be difficult to compose and recite, so if you feel as though you won’t be able to handle the task, then you shouldn’t feel pressured into giving one.
That being said, here are the best tips and techniques on how to write a moving and heartfelt eulogy as tribute to the memory of your loved one:
Think Of What Made The Person So Special. The eulogy is meant to give life to whatever it was that made the deceased so special in the lives of so many. You can capture this essence by telling funny, happy or sad stories; fond memories that you may have; or simply things that they did that made the world a better place, such as volunteering or always having an ear at the ready for anyone who wanted to talk. Additionally, think of who was important in their lives – did your loved one have any special relationships that made them feel happy or fulfilled? Once you have the material, you’ll be ready to put your eulogy to paper.
Don’t Write Linearly. For many, the most difficult part of composing the eulogy is the introduction. If you don’t know where to start, don’t worry about it too much – you can start with the middle or end of the eulogy, then return to the beginning when you have a better grasp of what to say.
While the beginning of a eulogy may stump some, the ending can pose an even greater challenge. If you’re not sure how to leave off your eulogy, consider playing a piece of music that was significant to your loved one – or simply say a short sentence of farewell from the heart. Your audience will find your tribute both touching and appropriate.
Check Your Facts. If you mention any dates or stories in the eulogy, make sure that the facts are accurate. Your audience will be distracted by any mistakes, so check with close relatives to make sure that your eulogy is error-free.
Take Deep Breaths. Delivering the eulogy can be just as difficult as composing one, if not more so. Between battling with nerves to struggling with your own grief, you may find that you’re beginning to dread when it’s your turn to speak. However, there are some techniques that you can employ that will calm any nerves, as well as provide you with support should you become overwhelmed.
Be sure to remember that these are family and friends who are gathered at the funeral, and they won’t judge you for your performance. Speak slowly and deliberately, as nervousness and anxiety tend to make us speak faster. Bring a close relative or loved one up to the podium to provide emotional support should you find it difficult to continue. Remember, showing your emotion is perfectly natural; if you become overwhelmed, take a few deep breaths and carry on. You’re not expected to give a perfect speech, and your audience will be completely supportive and appreciative of your efforts.
Delivering a eulogy can be one of the most difficult parts of a funeral service, for both the speaker and the audience. However, eulogies offer everyone a chance to acknowledge their grief for the deceased, the impact that they had on the world and the special things that will be missed with their passing. In this light, a eulogy is like a connection to both the living and the dead, where an audience can grieve about the passing and let go all at once.