When a friend or family member dies, most people make immediate plans to attend the funeral…and then frantically try to remember all the funeral etiquette they have learned. Wear all black. You must send flowers. Only attend the graveside service if you have been personally invited. (more…)
Posts Tagged ‘Etiquette’
By now, most of us know how to behave ourselves at a funeral or memorial service. We understand the importance of funeral attire, punctuality, keeping kids and technology devices quiet, and offering condolences. Because funerals are more like a church service, in that mostly what is expected of you is to sit and listen, they are not quite as difficult to navigate as other funeral events. (more…)
The old funeral superstitions say that pregnant women should not attend funerals, for fear that the spirits of the dead will somehow enter their womb and take over their unborn child. While we have pretty much laid those fears to rest these days, expectant mothers still sometimes struggle with attending the service. With maternity clothes so expensive and limited wardrobe options at home, it can be hard to figure out what to wear to a funeral when you are pregnant. (more…)
One of the most common funeral gifts is to bring food to the gathering that takes place after the memorial service is over. Often served as a buffet or luncheon, this meal allows people to gather in a less formal atmosphere to share memories of the deceased and bring comfort to one another. (more…)
Although bringing kids to a funeral is something not everyone agrees on, there are times and places when children either must be or choose to be present. No one knows your child as well as you do, and the decision to bring them along rests entirely with you and the immediate family of the deceased. (more…)
Knowing what to wear to a funeral can be an added stress when you’re already grieving the loss of a loved one—especially if you don’t have the time or money to shop for a new outfit. For a quick and easy look at funeral attire tips, we’ve outlined some of the biggest dos and don’ts. (more…)
It’s not uncommon for a family to wish to take their grief out of the public eye and hold a private mourning ceremony just for close friends and relatives. Whether the deceased was a public figure, died a newsworthy death, or simply wished for the funeral to be kept small, you can hold a funeral or memorial service by invitation only. Most of the funeral plans will stay the same, with one or two notable exceptions.
Obituary: You’ll need to strategize the obituary to make it clear that the funeral is open by invite only. One option is to skip the obituary and death notice altogether. By not publicly announcing the death, you won’t need to worry about those who aren’t invited stopping by. You can also put in an obituary but word it carefully. You can mention that it will be a “closed funeral” and ask for prayers instead of flowers or visits. (more…)
Most people know how to behave at a funeral or a memorial service, when respect and reverence are called for in equal proportions, but cemeteries provide a trickier funeral etiquette question. After all, cemeteries are public places open to the entire community—not only as a place to mourn, but to visit relatives, research local history, enjoy the ambiance, and even go for a jog.
Most cemeteries have their formal rules posted near the gates, and you should always take a moment to read them for specific information about where you can go and when. It’s also a good idea to follow these general cemetery guidelines. (more…)
Sending a sympathy card to a family who has just experienced a loss is a kind and low-cost way to show your support. Because too many funeral flowers can be overwhelming—and because many people would rather not receive financial support or gift baskets—sympathy cards allow you to share your regrets without overwhelming the family.
Because of the nature of death and dying, most sympathy cards and the messages for sympathy cards are religious in nature. However, not every family appreciates spiritual sentiments at this time, or you yourself may be agnostic/atheist and don’t wish to send a religious card. (more…)
The fastest way to give offense at a funeral is to wear something inappropriate, and guidelines of what not to wear to a funeral often outline the most obvious funeral attire no-nos. Things like excessively short skirts, shorts, flip flops, casual jeans, or clothes that are dirty or torn are all commonly avoided—and with good reason. Anything that belongs at a beach or in a nightclub isn’t right for the formal and somber setting of a funeral.
While most of us can be expected to avoid the more obvious funeral attire pitfalls, there are also more subtle fashion choices you should avoid. Follow our what not to wear to a funeral guide below to ensure that you present yourself in a way that is respectful and appropriate for the day.