Almost anyone who has experienced loss will tell you that holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries tend to be some of the hardest moments to get through. While everyone else is out celebrating and enjoying themselves, you are mired in memories and the painful reminder of your loved one’s passing. In fact, if your loss was recent, these days have a tendency to feel incredibly burdensome at a time when they should be anything but. (more…)
Posts Tagged ‘memorial’
Dealing with grief in the aftermath of funeral planning is, to put it mildly, a difficult task. While the challenges of choosing a casket, paying for a funeral, and coordinating the memorial service can be overwhelming, it is what follows that provides the real struggle. (more…)
Decorating headstones and gravesites is a great way to show your love for the dearly departed and help contribute to the ambiance of a modern cemetery. Memorial Day tends to showcase a cemetery awash in red, white, and blue—while the winter months favor Christmas red, green, and gold. From wreaths and crosses that can be placed on top of the grave to headstone flowers that can be draped over the top of larger monuments, there are many different ways to decorate for the holidays. (more…)
When it comes to funeral planning, there are several different kinds of services you will need to consider. A wake, vigil, or visitation takes place prior to the funeral, offering loved ones a chance to gather (either in the presence of the deceased’s remains or not) to give their last respects. A funeral service is the formal ceremony that takes place at a church or funeral home with the body in attendance. A memorial service is similar in format, though it does not include the body and can thus be held anywhere, at any time. (more…)
When a loved one passes away, we often want to find something that honors their memory in a big way—and a scholarship fund is a good platform for doing just that. By providing a foundation for someone’s education, you are giving a gift that lasts an entire lifetime. And by making it part of a loved one’s legacy (by including their name on the scholarship or earmarking the funds for a field of study they were passionate about), you can ensure that their memory lives on in an important way. (more…)
When someone famous or beloved dies, it is common to have a special phrase or quote carved into the headstone. These engravings (or epitaphs) are a kind of parting gift to the world; more public than your last words and more permanent than a note written on paper, these messages are what people who visit your gravesite carry with them for years to come. (more…)
Although few people associate cemeteries and death with their ideal vacation plans, visiting local cemeteries is actually a popular tourist practice. Fusing history and nature, cemeteries have a way of capturing a city’s culture in ways that more traditional tourist sites do not—and because they are almost always free to the public, they provide a low-cost alternative to many kinds of national monuments, museums, and theme parks. (more…)
Mausoleums are one of the most iconic cemetery features. Known alternately as tombs, vaults, catacombs, and crypts, the term is used to describe any place of burial that stands as a separate building. They are often large enough to hold multiple bodies, and it is common for families to own their own mausoleums as a way to bury several generations in one location. (more…)
A funeral or memorial service is just the start of your bereavement process. Losing a loved one isn’t something you just “get over” or “recover from.” It’s a lifelong journey of finding ways to cope and enjoying the positive things that remain.
Funerals are a great way to kick start this grieving process, but they often leave a sense of emptiness behind. Once the funeral planning is done and the guests have departed, it’s time to begin finding your new path through life—often with only yourself to rely on.
For many, creating a memorial space at home is an ideal way to begin this journey of healing. In addition to allowing you a physical space to mourn (that’s not as far away as a cemetery), you may find comfort from having memories of the deceased so close by.
- Dedicate a space for the memorial. A mantelpiece is the most common location, but any niche or corner (or even a shelf on the bookcase) will do. A coffee table, a desk, or even an entire room you don’t use may also apply.
- Place an urn or photo in the space. If you had the deceased cremated, you can keep an urn of the ashes in the memorial space. If not, you can place a photograph or beloved item (shoes, a stuffed animal, a favorite hat, a trophy, an award medal, a wedding ring) in the center location. Anything that reminds you of the deceased and brings you joy will work.
- Consider flowers, decorations, and other commemorative items. There’s no rule about how many things you need to put in a memorial space, so feel free to include anything you feel is relevant to your relationship with your loved one. Some people also like to put up seasonal items (in much the same way you might place seasonal decorations at a grave site).
- Burn candles or make offerings. Depending on your spiritual beliefs, you may want to light special candles or burn incense. Aromatherapy candles can provide a double benefit if you choose soothing, healing scents that bring you personal comfort or remind you of the deceased. (Make sure you never leave anything on fire unattended.)
- Keep it up as long as you need. The great thing about a memorial space in your home is that you can keep it up year-round, and with the exception of an occasional dusting, you don’t need to do anything to maintain it.
The need for having a safe, physical space to mourn is why we have cemeteries and memorials in the first place. So much about death is intangible, and making a physical connection with those we have lost is difficult. A personal shrine or memorial space not only gives you more flexibility in your grief, but it allows you to personalize the process so that you can always feel connected.