In the midst of death, grief, and funeral planning, it can be very difficult for families to cope with the loss they face. Everyone grieves in a different way, and providing support can be a challenge – especially if you're uncertain what you can do that won't add even more worry or work to an already overburdened load.
Depending on how well you know the family (and your location), here are a few different types of support you can provide.
Ask what you can do to help with the funeral plans. Although showing up at the funeral home to help pick out a casket or providing your thoughts on cremation aren't great ideas unless you've been directly asked, it is nice to offer your support. Let the family know that
you are willing to help out in any way you can, even if it's a simple as gathering favorite
photos or buying a nice flower arrangement for the memorial service.
(more…) At a Loss for Words? Offering Support for a Grieving Family
September 20th, 2010In the midst of death, grief, and funeral planning, it can be very difficult for families to cope with the loss they face. Everyone grieves in a different way, and providing support can be a challenge – especially if you're uncertain what you can do that won't add even more worry or work to an already overburdened load.
Depending on how well you know the family (and your location), here are a few different types of support you can provide.
Ask what you can do to help with the funeral plans. Although showing up at the funeral home to help pick out a casket or providing your thoughts on cremation aren't great ideas unless you've been directly asked, it is nice to offer your support. Let the family know that
you are willing to help out in any way you can, even if it's a simple as gathering favorite
photos or buying a nice flower arrangement for the memorial service.
(more…) Does a Funeral Have to Include a Viewing of the Body?
September 15th, 2010
Body viewings are a common practice in the United States – a tradition that dates back centuries and continues to flourish even today. Originally a religious custom, body viewings have now become a way for family members and friends to pay their respects and say their final goodbyes before the more formal funeral ceremony begins.
During the funeral planning process, the funeral home director will most likely ask what you and your family would like to do regarding the open casket options. Although you might feel pressured to have a body viewing because it is so common, you are fully within your rights to prefer a closed casket. In fact, many modern green funeral proponents say that the added chemicals involved in the embalming are an unnecessary waste and strain on the eco-system.
Before you make a decision, be sure and check with any funeral pre-plan wishes set out by the deceased as well as the wishes of family members. For some, the ability to view a body and say goodbye is an important step in the grieving process.
(more…) The Funeral Industry and Technology
September 14th, 2010
Funeral homes aren't exempt from the technology wave that's been sweeping industries around the world. From online memorials to new options in funeral arrangements, consumers today are faced with a variety of different options when putting their loved ones to rest.
For decades, one of the biggest obstacles to attending the funeral of a loved one is travel. Families are often spread out throughout the country, and last-minute travel plans aren't always a possibility. For those unable to participate in the funeral planning or make it to the service in time, video streaming funerals has become a possibility. While the practice sounds macabre, the truth is that it is no different than a video conference or other footage taken and viewed at home. By capturing the funeral on film and making it available online, those who weren't able to be there can still participate. In some even more tech-savvy families, participation via a virtual conference room makes it possible to give off-site eulogies in honor of the deceased.
(more…) Coping with Funerals and Loss
September 10th, 2010
It's inevitable that as we age, more and more of our friends, relatives, and acquaintances pass away. Funeral planning, which seems so far away during our youth, becomes almost second nature as the decades pass, even though the pain of each death can be just as acute as the first.
For many people in this situation, it can be difficult to reconcile one's own mortality with the joys of living. However, the real purpose of funerals is not only to commemorate the deceased, but to celebrate life. If you're having a difficult time with the passing of a loved one, or if you're seeking ways to look beyond funeral plans to the life you have ahead of you, here are a few helpful steps:
(more…) Attending the Funeral of an Estranged Friend or Family Member
September 6th, 2010
Many times, we are unable to reconcile disagreements, estrangements, and relationships before a loved one passes away. It doesn't matter whether you spent years not talking to one another, or if the disagreement is recent and still very painful – it's never easy to deal with death when there are lingering emotions that haven't been sorted out. And in cases where the emotions are negative, there are even more considerations to keep in mind during the funeral planning process.
Some of the key questions to ask yourself before attending the funeral of someone you have been estranged from include:
Can you (and the family) put aside any bad feelings for the day? Most of the time, a funeral is considered something of a neutral zone, in which everyone is allowed to bereave and pay their respects as they see fit. If this isn't the case in your particular situation, it might be better to find a different way to say your goodbyes.
(more…) Search Tools for Finding Graves
September 3rd, 2010
Gravesites are often so much more than a final resting place for a deceased loved one. In many cases, famous cemeteries and celebrity graves become a draw for tourists, historians, and locals interested in paying their respects. Almost all cemeteries are open to the public, and although there might be restrictions regarding headstone rubbings or leaving flowers or other items at the grave, you can usually visit any grave you wish.
If you're looking for the grave of a certain person – whether a celebrity, important historical figure, or an ancestor of your own – there are great online resources you can turn to for help.
(more…) Is it Acceptable to Attend the Funeral of a Celebrity or Local Hero?
September 2nd, 2010
When a celebrity or local figure dies, it's common for those who didn't know the deceased to share in the mourning process. It doesn't matter whether you grew up reading the celebrity's books or if a local firefighter died while battling a huge forest fire – connections with those who have gone before us, whether shared or not, can have a big impact in your life.
However, before you put on your funeral attire and show up at the burial arrangements made in honor of the deceased, there are a few considerations to keep in mind:
(more…) Choosing Funeral Music
September 1st, 2010
Funeral planning is the family's opportunity to say goodbye and honor all those things that made the deceased a unique and loved human being. One of the most important steps (and one of the most often overlooked) in this process is to choose the music that will be played at the memorial service.
Funeral music takes on a variety of different roles and functions, depending on the deceased, his or her advanced funeral plans, and the wishes of the family. For example, a primarily religious-based ceremony might be made more complete with a few of the deceased's favorite hymns played either on an organ/piano or via a CD. A less formal memorial service might have room for a few of the deceased's favorite rock songs, or even a slide show accompanied by a heartwarming tune.
(more…) How to Dress for a Funeral
August 31st, 2010
For many individuals, funeral planning is about more than preparing the body for burial – it's about preparing the entire family for the commemoration of a loved one's life. With this in mind, it's important to realize that funeral attire plays a big role in the days preceding the funeral as well as at the actual services. Now is not the time to pull out a flashy new wardrobe or show off a recently slimmed down figure; whenever you attend a function related to the funeral (even if it is just a casual meal for making final arrangements), you should always keep respect and tradition in mind.
(more…) Famous and Beautiful Cemeteries
August 27th, 2010
When making burial arrangements or funeral planning, many people pay attention to the ambiance of the final resting ground. After all, this is the place loved ones will visit for decades as a way to remember a life lived and lost.
Modern cemeteries tend to have a fairly clinical feel to them, with well-laid out plots and modest headstones – which is great for maximizing the available space and providing a serene place for visiting the graves of those we love. However, much of the charm of older burial grounds is lost in these types of cemeteries. In fact, some of the best places to be buried include those where a little bit of wilderness and a whole lot of history combine to create a verdant, timeless setting.
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