Funeral Planning and Unwanted Houseguests
When a death occurs, some people choose to surround themselves with family and friends as a way to cope. Being alone during this time can be difficult, especially if you are struggling with not only your grief, but day-to-day pressures like taking care of your kids, figuring out how financial matters stand, and self-care. (more…)
So much of planning a funeral has to do with the making burial preparations, reaching out to friends and family members, and finding ways to cope with your recent loss. And like many major life events and holidays, there is a kind of anticipation that goes into this planning process. Even though you may be feeling completely brokenhearted right now, the need to make decisions and put affairs in order provide a kind of foundation for getting through each day. (more…)
A funeral or memorial service is just the start of your bereavement process. Losing a loved one isn’t something you just “get over” or “recover from.” It’s a lifelong journey of finding ways to cope and enjoying the positive things that remain.
Funerals are a great way to kick start this grieving process, but they often leave a sense of emptiness behind. Once the funeral planning is done and the guests have departed, it’s time to begin finding your new path through life—often with only yourself to rely on.
For many, creating a memorial space at home is an ideal way to begin this journey of healing. In addition to allowing you a physical space to mourn (that’s not as far away as a cemetery), you may find comfort from having memories of the deceased so close by.
The need for having a safe, physical space to mourn is why we have cemeteries and memorials in the first place. So much about death is intangible, and making a physical connection with those we have lost is difficult. A personal shrine or memorial space not only gives you more flexibility in your grief, but it allows you to personalize the process so that you can always feel connected.
Sending a sympathy card to a family who has just experienced a loss is a kind and low-cost way to show your support. Because too many funeral flowers can be overwhelming—and because many people would rather not receive financial support or gift baskets—sympathy cards allow you to share your regrets without overwhelming the family.
Because of the nature of death and dying, most sympathy cards and the messages for sympathy cards are religious in nature. However, not every family appreciates spiritual sentiments at this time, or you yourself may be agnostic/atheist and don’t wish to send a religious card. (more…)
One of the best ways to commemorate the life of a loved one is by creating, funding, or planning a memorial garden. Long after the initial funeral planning process is finished, you can keep memories alive with an outdoor space that can be used for private reflection or even public use.
Most memorial gardens are small and private, usually built in a backyard or on a family plot of land. In fact, you can even have a garden in a pot placed in a sunny kitchen location—as long as it brings you comfort and focuses on the continuation of life, there is no reason why you can’t do whatever feels right. For those who want to make a larger difference, you may be able to make a donation to a local park or even establish a new park that is commemorated to a loved one. This typically comes at a high cost, but lasts for generations.
After the funeral planning is done and you’ve said your goodbyes, the real work of bereavement begins. For many people, it takes a lifetime of hard work to learn to cope with the loss of a loved one—and getting support right from the start is an important step in doing this.
Bereavement counselors are mental health professionals trained to work with people facing the loss of a friend, family member, or even a public or heroic figure. Grief hits everyone in a different way, and there is no right or wrong way to have feelings and process this grief. That’s why it is so important to find a bereavement counselor who is right for you. As is the case with any medical professional, there needs to be a foundation of trust and understanding before you can make the commitment to begin healing.
Human grief is often one of the first things we are trained to recognize after the loss of a loved one. Funeral homes and funeral planning experts have countless resources on hand to help direct people toward bereavement services, medical professionals, and counselors who can help people cope with their emotions.
One area that is receiving increased attention in recent years is the role animals play—both in the bereavement process and as beings capable of mourning. If you are an animal lover, you may find that one of the best ways to cope is to find solace with your four-legged friends.
No matter what your intentions are or how highly you regard a loved one, there are times when it is impossible to attend a funeral. Although most employers are understanding when it comes to the last minute nature of funeral planning, it can be hard to take the time away from your job, especially if the service is being held out of town. From travel impediments and cost restrictions to former engagements, there are a number of reasons why you might have to send your condolences in place of yourself.
Unless you are a very close friend or family member of the deceased, this is probably okay. It might not be ideal for you to be absent during this difficult time, there are alternate ways to send your regards.
One of the more difficult aspects of funeral planning—whether you’re doing it in the stages leading up to death or after the fact—is orienting children toward the proper methods of grief. Like adults, children grieve in different ways from one another, especially when you take into consideration different ages and the relationship each child had with the deceased.
Also similar to adults, children grieve through a series of steps, each one building on the last as they process their emotions and the sudden change in their world. Although the following is meant to be a guideline for these stages, please note that the advice offered here is never a substitute for professional therapy. When it comes to our kids, it can be very beneficial to seek guidance so that they not only mourn their loss properly, but also learn how to cope with future losses in their lives.
The loss of a beloved pet is never an easy thing. In our society, we are all expected to mourn and grieve over the death of a human relative or friend, and there are countless services available for the funeral planning process when this occurs. However, when it comes to our pets, there is a bit of a bias against formal burial arrangements. After all, it was just a dog or cat. Shouldn’t you get over it or simply buy a new pet?
Those of us who have adopted a four-legged friend as part of the family know that things are never that simple. Some of these pets have been with us for decades, and many of them have faithfully seen us through the best and worst times of our lives. Saying goodbye to them isn’t easy, and the lack of formal funeral options often makes this difficult task even harder.
Fortunately, the market has seen a need for pet memorial services, and most cities have organizations that can help you plan a funeral for a pet. If you go through animal control or city services, you can either have the body picked up or you can drop it off to be incinerated in a communal process. However, if you want a more formal ceremony, you can also opt for formal pet cremation or even burial.
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